I am so not ready for this.

Sometimes it's good when things come together...whether it's a carefully laid plan or just a whimsical thought in your head, when it comes together, you have a feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction.

There are other times when things coming together leave you with a twisted feeling in your gut, and even though you know deep down that it's good, at the moment it feels wrong wrong WRONG.

I've known Evan is going to kindergarten in the fall. We've known for a year that he should, even though the county we live in says he is too young (by 7 days). His brain, his personality, his loving heart are not meant to be held back 358 days. The decision was really made back in April, when he got his acceptance letter to a private school and I had to sniff back the tears while singing happy birthday to Eric because really, who is prepared for an acceptance letter for a 4 yo?? We passed the point of no return when we removed him from the daycare he adored to put him in a summer camp that I had to bribe him to go to. I have purchased the obligatory khakis/polos and the stupid #2 'fat' pencils. You think I would be ready for this, wouldn't you?

And then today his official school shirts arrived. Two polo shirts in a shade of maroon that will look awesome on him with the logo/crest embroidered over his heart.

I am so not ready for this.

But there's more.

To add to the clutching to my stomach wondering if my burrito is going to come back up sensation, when I told Eric's teacher that we were going to rid ourselves of the pacifier, their response was "oh good--by the way he's moving to the next room right after Labor Day."

WHAT?!?!? My 'baby', my sweet little guy who despite the fact that Evan can work the word 'underwear' into any conversation has only started saying it just today is going to move out of the cuddly sing-sing safety of Miss Kay's room and into the 'time to start potty training' boot camp of the toddler class? When did this happen?

I am so not ready for this.

Okay, in fairness, I really do love the Toddler teachers just as much as his current teachers. I know they have to be a little more strict because of the age of the kids they are dealing with and Eric will certainly give them a run for their money with his stubbornness and temper.