I cringe when my husband starts a conversation with "here's the deal." Usually it means he is going to try and get me to do something that will almost entirely benefit him, but make me think that it benefits me as well.
He's also famous (in our house) for his use of the word "couple." To me, a couple is a small number, most commonly TWO. To him, it means way more. If we're talking physical objects/beings, it's a minimum of 3 and anywhere up to about 8. If we're talking about a couple of minutes? Yeah, that can go at least an hour. And "quick" is pretty interchangeable. Like today, we finally got around to re-anchoring the cabinet of death. Seemed like an easy task: shift to the right 2 inches, insert some big ass screws into the wall. How foolish of me.
I am sitting in the dining room, preparing to blog, and realize the internet has died on me. I go downstairs to find he has disconnected everything in the cabinet, namely the cable modem and wireless router. They weigh about 6 ounces each. I'm not sure how removing them from the cabinet simplified this process any. Oh, and when he disconnects things, he rips the power cords out of the back with no regard to what was connected where.
Then, apparently there is only 1 stud behind where he is trying to put the cabinet of death, and we need 2. We hang 300 pounds worth of electronic equipment plus big heavy Waterford bowls/vases off our wall with only one stud, but this one requires 2, in his eyes. So we make a makeshift stud which involves me holding a piece of wood while he drills into it and I pray that I survive this episode without injury.
And then I have to put the laptop, modem, router, phone, and printer back into the cabinet and re-connect all the wires. But rest assured, it only took a couple of minutes ;-)