Thursday, February 21, 2008

Whores and topless oysters

The post you've all been waiting for...and I'm sure it won't live up to the hype ;-)

After arriving in Florida and trying desperately not to get myself left by the highway after all my comments and having my luggage arrive at the same time, my aunt, uncle, and I headed to the church hall/room/place where the surprise birthday dinner was going to be held. While that sounds a little cheesy, it turned out very nice with some tablecloths and candles. As an added bonus, the church nursery was down the hall and available (with babysitter) for small children to go to after dinner which is a truly great thing when there are like 15 kids there.

So we get to the church and get tables/chairs set up and one of my aunts is making labels for what goes on what table so the caterers could do their things. One of the tables was for hors d'oeuvre which no one knew how to spell (I just had to google it), and after various attempts, someone said "just write whores on it and they'll know what it means." And that kicked off the round of jokes about the whores and the whore table and who should be sitting there and what we would wear if we were at that table. I think they ended up writing "appetizers" on the card instead.

After labeling tables (and labeling me "mom" because I had a bag of snacks that was keeping people somewhat subdued), several of us headed out to lunch at a sort-of local seafood place. One of those places where you're sitting at what looks like a folding table and the drinks are served in big styrofoam cups with whatever you ordered spilling over the side. Classy. But damn good food! And I immediately see on the menu that you can order topless oysters, which seemed like a good thing to serve at the whore table.

See? It was much funnier there, in the moment.

On the upside, all the women were at one end of the table and when the bill came we pretended to be deep in conversation until the men finally paid. Worked out especially well for the 2 of us that were there without men ;-)


  1. That is definitely funny, but only because I can see this all happening because I have been to events like that!

  2. does sound funny. But now I am wondering what the heck a Topless oyster is? Raw? No shell? Little boobies added to it with green olives and pimentos?

  3. I love how Lydia constructed a boob with food and remembered nipples.

    that was the pimentos, right?

    And that was a GREAT post.